Are you who you wanted to be?

Going through old journals and I found a To Do list I made after going on a Go M.A.D. course about 13 years ago. It was interesting to say the least…

TO DO

  • Think Optimistically
  • Love my body
  • Love my mind
  • Love my soul
  • Smile
  • Laugh out loud more
  • Put doubt in a bubble and blow it away
  • Put fear in a bubble and blow it away
  • See beauty in everything
  • Believe in myself
  • Believe in others
  • Celebrate differences
  • Dream
  • Wish
  • Achieve my dreams and wishes
  • LIVE
  • Sing like no one is listening
  • Dance like no one is watching
  • Howl at the moon

I think the most interesting part of this, or perhaps the most depressing things, is how much of that remains undone. I’ve gone from being in my early twenties when I wrote this to being in my mid thirties. (Oh god, mid thirties, when did that happen?)

It poses an interesting question though, have you become the person you wanted to be? Have you grown in the last ten plus years as a person? What would you from ten years ago say to you now? What would they be proud of? What would they be disappointed in?

And the last question:

What are you going to do about it?

David Tennant, Fright Night, gif, well gif,

Chris Evans, I'm ready, gif,

Supernatural, Dean Winchester, let's get started, gif, Jensen Ackles,

Monday, it’s Monday

Morning, Monday morning, Hocus Pocus,

Oh look, it’s Monday morning, well for those of us not living in the past. (Ah, old Dad jokes are the best.)

This means I have a busy week ahead.  My to do list includes such fun things as vacuum, steam mop the kitchen…. slightly more fun things in working on ASL and Themedom….absolutely more fun things in having fun on Preshus Babies, writing 20,000 words minimum on Babypire and do a plot outline for TinkerHook since I had a breakthrough at about 1am this morning about Peter.

Gilmore Girls, Coffee,

How is everyone else’s week ahead looking? Time to get busy for me.

Bruce Almighty, Busy, Work, type,

Also, I’m thinking of putting the sort of prologue of TinkerHook up this week, who is in for that?

Working on Babypire

So I’ve been a busy girl this week. Beyond my normal activities and addictions I’ve done such amazing things as quit my job, work on new entrepreneurial business ideas (or rather continue work on them), and I’ve been working on Babypire.

As some of you know, last year I worked out why I was having so much trouble with this novel…it had a lot to do with the direction I had taken the story in. It just wasn’t working. 20,000 words cut later my heart was broken but you have to murder your darlings, or at least slash at them with a sharp machete.

I started with 1208 words on Sunday, and over the course of Monday and Tuesday I think I have written that many again while still doing a day at work, the mummy thing and all the rest. The biggest thing with that second lot of words, well, it’s all by hand. I’ve never had a character before who so often insisted that the words be written by hand before being typed up. Yay, double work.  But there is something pleasing about the tactile effort of handwriting.

I amused myself with one part of the tale….

I took all this in right before the sea took me in, deep down. Thank god it was deep here, hitting the bottom a half a foot down might have been incredibly painful. The last thing that would have gone through my mind might have been my knees.

Also, being the weirdo I am I’m still trying to perfect the Babypire face and who I would use for her. With that in mind I wasted some time on Monday night playing on a morphing site and made a morph of Lily Collins and Katie McGrath, and it really kind of works for her….

Babypiremaybe

Does anyone else spend far too much time thinking on who is the perfect example of the voice in their head? Or is that just me?

Inspiration

So as most of you know, it doesn’t often take much for me to be inspired to anything. The most recent thing has been a poem. Well a poem that feels like it should be a song but since I have no musical talent remains a poem. It was inspired by Taylor Swift’s new song “Style” that hubby insisted I should listen to because I’d probably liked it. Well he was right.

And now for the poem song. I’ve called it ‘Whirlwind’

We’ve been around this
Whirlwind
Too many times
And it’s just you and me
And your
Countless bullshit lies
And I fall
And I fall
And
Every time
You’ve got me spinning
Around
You’ve got me
Falling Down

The wind dies down
And I’m left reeling
Broken and torn apart
This is too much that
I’m feeling
You got me bleeding
Inside out
Questioning everything
I’ve ever felt
And I fall
And I fall
And
Every time
You’ve got me spinning
Around
You’ve got me
Falling Down

I despise it
And yet when
The storm rises
You’re lifting me
High
And I’m falling
Knowing this time
I might die.

And I fall
And I fall
And
Every time
You’ve got me spinning
Around
You’ve got me
Falling Down

So my lovelies. What was the last thing to inspire you?

It’s been a while

It’s been nearly a year, well more around three quarters of a year. I’ve been busy, with Stuff and Things. (I was doing stuff and things before Rick made it cool ;) ) But I’m trying to get back on track. I’ve got ventures that I’m returning too and one of them is what this blog was designed for. Motivating me, and motivating me as a writer. So I’m going to start doing it. I’m going to be focusing on my writing and getting things finished.

You all know me and my million and one ideas basically every day. I’ve been trying to get around that more, writing down my ideas rather than trying to write every single one. (I still keep trying to write them though….)

But I went through and I made a list of all the work I’ve had sitting too long that I need to finish, that I want to finish. It’s a big list. But here we go (working titles on nearly all of them, not what they’re going to be called):

1. Shadows of Avalon – Nyssa’s Tale

2. Shadows of Avalon – Tales of the Lake

3. Babypire

4. Eiridis

5. Fae Tales (From Jaidee’s tale of avenging her sister onwards)

6. Children of the Immortals. (The Ancient stories through to the modern storylines, including side stories like Maya)

7. The Guardians

8. Team Secret Squirrel (not really what it will be called but I still like to call those stories that)

9. Tiffany’s Story

10. Zarina’s Song

11. The tale of Cassie Rose

12. Cursed Eva

13. The Selkie

14. Jasmine’s story

15. TinkerHook

16. Nienna of the Fallen

17. Reckless Ryna

18. Lina’s story

19. Kayla’s Tale

20. My Fairy Tales (Minerva the Witch, A Princess Prepares etc)

21. Karalyn’s stories (Or at least rework them into other things.)

22. After Dead

Then there is all the new stuff, Tale Spin especially my most preshus Beckum stories, my Briar and the VERY populated and amazing world she’s now part of and all the amazing rest.

So many new characters and stories, so many words written myself and with those I am lucky enough to collaborate and write with.

But now it is time for me to get some focus and start putting in the hard yards that isn’t just all about fun times and the next cute idea. If I want to be published, if I want to share my words with the world then I have to be focused and I have to be committed because no one else can be for me.